Life always has the last laugh!

Most of us might have come across the above phrase, but you would only get the essence when you feel it. We take too much for granted that when we are let down by someone we give up on them, then we give up on ourselves and eventually we give up on life.

All through our lives, we have ups and downs, some have more ups than downs and vice-versa but, moving on taking whatever life throws at you in your stride, is what makes one’s living worthwhile!

I was at the local hospital yesterday, with my Mom for her regular check-up. Walking the corridors of a hospital has always given me creeps and hence I always preferred to stay in the lobby, while my Mom went upstairs to get herself checked up. I was busy reading Jhumpa Lahiri’s book “Interpretators of Maladies”, yes I had to have someone for company, and books can be the best companions. 

I looked up and saw a woman in a burkah with a kid probably 10 years old walk past the door of the lobby. The woman came back, gaped at me uttered something to the kid and left, he started walking towards me and I in a way felt intimidated by the way he walked and his head bobbled around.

 

“What’s your name?” he said, clapping hands together, making sure they don’t make sound.

“I looked around for a second and said, my name is Aditya” and I could see the disappointment in his face.

“Oh, sorry” I thought you were my cousin Ayub, you look similar to him. His mouth twisted in a weird way as he spoke.

That is when I understood why people assume a person with no moustache, only beard as a Muslim. “No problem” I said.

He extended his shaky hand and I extended mine. “Nice talking to you” he said.

“Same here” He then sat in the chair opposite to mine, got up and sat again, “whi..which school?” he asked. (I often encounter this question even at the age of 22)

“I am working for a gaming company called Electronic Arts” I said, and I could see the glow in his face and the smile that etched from ear to ear.

“Nice Nice, I like games” but mai khel nahi sakta because...

I could see his mom from over his shoulder calling him; he then got up and turned to leave then came back.

“I have brain fever and a tumour so is the reason I cannot talk and walk properly and often mistake people to one another” he said.

I stared at him for a second, flinched and said “I am so sorry to hear that”. 

“It is okay, bye!” he said and I could see him walk to his mom in the same manner he walked towards me, only this time his head did not bobble the way it did before, or maybe he did not let it bobble thinking of the possibility that I might find it funny.

I sat still for quite some time, thinking of cruel life could be, we take many a things for granted, we wish for luxuries right from our childhood, we want a hassle free and peaceful life always, we want and always wish for our parents and grandparents to live for 100 years. Then there are people who in a way are just an added weight on the planet with no use whatsoever. Mere vegetables if you will.

But then there is this kid, who fighting for his life right from the age of 10 with faith and hope being the only 2 players in his arsenal, the age where most of us spend in front of televisions, playing our favorite video games munching cookies and then demand for a new game.

 I could see my mom walk past this kid from a distance and I saw she turned twice to look at him before she could reach me. “Mom, remember the times you wish Dad could have lived for a few more years?” See that kid? He has a brain fever and a tumour and he is bloody 10 years old. “What possible crime he would have committed, that he is being put through this hell at the age when he supposed to be in the play ground amidst friends.

We humans are never contended with what we have, we always desire for more, regardless of the need, we just want it. Be it money, happiness, luxuries, materialistic pleasures but not sorrow because we wish others have it. And despite our sincere efforts of eluding sorrow if at all we encounter it, we blame it on life saying "life has been harsh on us" even after savoring numerous happy moments. Balls to that!

No matter how hard one tries to carve his life into being good or bad, you will have to dance to its tunes at all times, at one instance your face might wreathe in smile and agony ain another, you have good times, and bad times. Memories that leave behind the scars be it good or bad, no matter how hard one tries, life always has the last laugh. Period.

Adios!

Nostalgia Level: Childhood!

Yes, that is phase of nostalgia I am going through right now, and it only gets worse every passing day. Needless to say everyone wants to go back to peeing on bed, watching cartoons, sleeping all day long, eating, and well pooping this time!

Hackneyed as it sounds, childhood has always been everyone’s best phase of life. No worries, no tensions, no petrol hikes, no economy downfall, nothing. Though the above parameters hamper our parents’ lives and etch lines on their forehead, we would still be getting the remote-control car for our birthday that we have been demanding for, now that is what still article talks about.

Now, having learnt how to not pee on bed for about 18-19 years ago, as I write this article I feel how times have changed, how the hell did we grow up this fast? From being the boss of everyone, getting the needs fulfilled by crying the lungs out for about an hour, we are now down to getting everyone’s needs fulfilled but our own, and though you manage to fulfill your needs, it would be of minimum satisfaction after maximum contemplation.

Waking up in the morning itself seems a hard task for me these days, let alone the tasks for the rest of the day. Remember the time the only thing we complained was about the new toy your friend has just acquired and you want one for yourself and your parents put this is the RED ALERT priority. Now, we have a million things to complain about, starting from waking up to going to bed again- office, colleagues, lunch, boss, work, e-mails, the lame boyfriend of the hot chick in the cafeteria, another shot idiot with his hot chick and, well, the boss again so that he doesn’t feel left out!

Now adding the agony above, we have our very own daily demons; for starters we have the petrol hikes, lay-offs, taxes, monthly bills and the newbie rupee downfall (yay). Well, it is the same rigmarole over and over again, and sooner or later one realizes that the agonies only pile up and you will have to deal with it.

Now, remember the meaningless albeit exciting games we used to indulge ourselves in during childhood and manage to have great fun. We do play games now too, like the very famous “Blame game”, “You scratch my back, and I’ll scratch yours”, “To hell with this life” and this one’s a kicker “Pour your agony out, and I will be pretend I am sorry for you”.

As it seems, we have only grown in to larger chunks of fat with the ever-lasting longing of going back to being the smaller ones. As we speak, I reckon the rupee is taking a dip again in the holy-agony of people and our beloved government is trying harder to do nothing about it. 

Had this been the case in childhood, we looking over the shoulder would have said, “I need a bi-cycle for my birthday” and walked of the hall without being hit in the back, while our parents gape at us, eventually getting that bi-cycle anyway!

I wish I could go back to being a kid again, play incessantly, laugh, cry, poop (that is the highlight of being a kid) demand for the toys my friends own and I don’t. Now we have stooped to such level, that we don’t even complain goddamn it, we get a better toy than our friends so that our ego doesn’t feel left out. There was no ego back then during childhood, only revenge to acquire the same thing so that we could brag about! 

Get your pictures clicked in random poses with a broad grin that speaks volumes and feel elated about it, but, now you get pictures clicked alright, but with a grin the aches more with every other picture.  

Well, it is about time, I go back to sleep and wake up without wetting my boxers, and many things to crib about, have many games lined up tomorrow, and the only way I can emerge winner for the day is by winning the tournament!

Adios!

         

Confessions of a Fiction Addict!

“A great book should leave you with many experiences, and slightly exhausted at the end. You live several lives while reading.”   - William Styron

 Alright, here I am back to writing after a really long and unintentional hiatus. I have been trying too hard to slog my ass at work and finish reading the books that have been lying on my shelves unattended for quite some time now. Seriously there have been days that I have come early from the office only to savour few pages from the books. And, sooner I realised how addicted am I to fiction, and, hence this article.

 

  Oh Reality! Thou a heartless bitch! This very statement has penetrated my thoughts infinite times, mostly after I am done savoring a book, a fiction one at that and apparently the reality has intervened all those times and grounded me before I put the book back in the shelf.

I have been pondering on this ever since I started reading, and I keep questioning myself, my mom why can’t our lives be an emulation of one of those stories? Or characters? And, there was only one answer erupted out of my mother’s mouth: Grow up! Get a life, you will know! Life isn’t what it is in books! And, I encounter her saying, you will not realize until you read mom. Son, don’t forget I am a librarian by profession for the past 15 years, books are an integral part of my life, not my life.

Not only my mom, many people preach about how reality is different from books and I reckon how every muscle of their mouth wreathes in pain while saying so! I have felt that pain quite few times now; nevertheless I perceive every situation with a fictitious mind and feel quite amazed and amused by the outcomes! I know it is weird but, with me everything has to be fictitious, reality is agonizing, hideous and a clear emulation of Satan.

Imagine living the life of one of those characters from the books, not one in fact you would be living many a lives at once, for instance you are a rich, business tycoon, the other you are a master thief who robs that rich business tycoon and kills him, or be the detective who would chase down the thief and crack the mystery of the century. 

 Why can’t our life be an emulation of one of those love stories?  Where in the guy caters to every need of his woman love and she to his, and they manage to transcend the art of love to an all new level. I am not a gushy-mushy romantic guy, but then it seems too perfect to ignore and shrug it off just by saying it is fiction.

I wonder what if for one moment, the clock strikes and the wheel of time squalls halt and everything around you is fictitious! Nothing would happen for real, even if something did, you can knock it off by realizing that this is not reality, but fiction. Reality is and if not eventually will be monotonous; one would know what he/ she is destined to do, since you write your own destiny. But, fiction throws surprises at every turn and going through that surprise itself, sends a chill down the spine, imagine living it.

Well, during the course of drafting this very article, I have pondered on this very thought that, I need to grow up and get a life, but then we are dealing with fiction here, and once you grow in to it, there is no escaping it.

Okay got to go now, someone’s on the door.

“Oh, it is R.E.A.L.I.T.Y!!”

 Adios!

You have My Collection of Books!

I still remember this day last year, when I witnessed what I have always been taught was inevitable!  I met people whom I have never met before, heard things that I never heard before and felt helpless like I never felt before. People being ushered in and out of the house, people being consoled, pacified were being asked to maintain calm; amidst all this pandemonium He lay there calm, unmoved, dauntless and at peace. His wife lay in the next room trying to figure out what just happened.

His treasure of books rested in the shelves waiting for him to get back and caress them, read them an savor what they had to offer, but they didn’t knew he had ceased to exist. The last time I visited him in the hospital- his face was wreathed in a small yet bright smile, though pale he still managed to carry the same charisma he always had. I could barely look in to his eyes, for all I know they were signalling a cyclone that was about to sweep through our lives. 

“I might miss FIFA Euro World Cup this time, but, I never knew he really meant it. Lying on the bed he said it’s about time I start counting my days and I think I am done, and all I could do was look at him helplessly!” 

He is possibly the most practical person I have ever been with, and possibly the only person who has had so much of an impact on me. I can possible never imagine of an encyclopaedia like him, he read, read and read like a dog. He lay awake till late in the night through the morning just reading! Had it not been for him I would have never inherited a library. He always said “reading is what makes you come alive, no matter how long we stay together for the rest of our lives, you will always have my collection of books”.

The last time I spoke to him at length was during my counseling sessions with him regarding my career ahead, and these sessions never ended on positive note. I have asked him to wait till my graduation result and we shall discuss it post that. But, I never knew that I would make him wait for the rest of my life! The results were declared one day after he died and so did the counseling sessions. 

He always wanted to be ahead of life, prepare ourselves before life throws surprises at us and we stay dumbstruck. Well, he failed to succeed and he left all others dumbstruck. His attitude towards life is the only thing that I could manage to inherit, because he was unique in every other aspect! 

When he finally was about to be taken for the last rites, which I was supposed to perform, I could see people breaking down, weeping relentlessly my mom weeping looked at me wishing I could manage to pull out a miracle like one from the movies but, I could barely meet her gaze and I kept telling myself, “this is just a dream, I shall wake up soon and everything will be back to how it was earlier- Dad can never leave without saying goodbye!” 

P. S: I have graduated with flying colors, I am now earning Dad. Also, mom has been a real fighter she has managed to bare us for the past one year, she has a few complaints against us but, I am sure you will overlook them. All through our lives that we have spent together we have shown love caring in myriad ways, I have never really said this- simply and plainly I love you!

"I never thought I would be writing something so sober, but, I realized sooner or later one has to reveal his inner soul."